It’s All Relative

Dear Friends,

Today I offer you not a single theme song, but an entire playlist.  (See below for the complete list of the songs, along with alternate versions of numbers 58.1 and 84.1, which I couldn’t include because they aren’t available on YouTube.  However, I highly recommend checking out the linked versions below!)  Also included is a brief comedy break at number 72, courtesy of John Mulaney.   I can’t tell you how much fun I had putting the playlist together.  You can decide for yourself precisely how inappropriate I was in some sections. For example, I Wanna Be Sedated followed by Cuts Like A Knife, The First Cut is the Deepest, and I’ve Got You Under My Skin, wrapping up with Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough, Take It Off, and Let’s Hang On (to What We’ve Got)?  I had no choice but to follow it with the awesome Postmodern Jukebox version of Rude.  Because.  Well.  Wait, who’s the rude one here?  Like Carly Simon claimed until recently, I’ll never tell…  But you can tell me what other songs should be included – leave a comment!

So today’s the day.  Peace out, #LeftBoob!  The run of the day has me arriving at 8am, getting a nuclear medicine injection at 10am to guide the lymph node biopsy, and finally at 11am, the surgery itself.  My understanding is that it will be a two to three hour procedure, and apparently “most people” go home the next day.  We’ll see if this is one of the rare medical instances in which I fall into the “most people” category.

I had a running joke with an old pulmonary doctor about how we were both huge fans of Einstein and his theory of relativity.  Fun fact, 2015 is the 100^th anniversary of the Theory of Relativity!  The doctor came into the exam room after I’d been through the full barrage of pulmonary function tests, and he was super jazzed about the results.  “Great news!” he said, “You’re almost back to normal lung function!”  I raised an eyebrow in a manner that would make even Stephen Colbert jealous and said, “Normal lung function, you say?”  And we both laughed as he clarified that, “It’s all relative.”  I was essentially back to my baseline and shouldn’t compare myself to anyone else.   It’s like I always tell Polly when she is having trouble focusing on pottying because people and dogs and cars keep having the nerve to go by on the street:  don’t worry about what’s going on over there, you just worry about yourself and doing what you’re supposed to do, then you’ll be all right.  I digress.

All things being relative, here’s to my “relatively unremarkable” history allowing me to be like “most people” in this instance.  Many thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers, vibes, dances, and other vehicles of conveying positivity to me, my family, my doctors, and each other today.  Be well, friends!

Surgery Playlist

1. Priscilla Ahn – A Good Day
2. Audra Mae – Here I Go Again
3. John Williams – Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark Theme
4. Lady Gaga – Born This Way
5. The BellRays – Third Time’s the Charm
6. Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
7. Chicago – You’re the Inspiration
8. Traveling Wilburys – Handle with Care
9. The Ramones – I Wanna Be Sedated
10. Bryan Adams – Cuts Like a Knife
11. Cat Stevens – The First Cut is the Deepest
12. Frank Sinatra – I’ve Got You Under My Skin
13. Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop til You Get Enough
14. Dick Dale & the Del-Tones – Take It Off
15. Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons – Let’s Hang On to What We’ve Got
16. Postmodern Jukebox – Rude
17. Lake Street Dive – Bad Self Portraits
18. The Shins – Phantom Limb
19. Weezer – Say It Ain’t So
20. Justin Timberlake – Sexyback
21. Carly Simon – You’re So Vain
22. Keri Hilson – Pretty Girl Rock
23. The Band – Up On Cripple Creek
24. Whitney Houston – It’s Not Right, But It’s OK
25. Madi Davis – Big Girls Don’t Cry
26. Eric Hutchinson – OK, It’s Alright With Me
27. Earth, Wind, & Fire – Let’s Groove
28. Whitney Houston & Brandy – Impossible/It’s Possible
29. Paul McCartney & Ringo Star – With A Little Help from My Friends
30. Jess Glynne – Hold My Hand
31. Sister Act 2 – Oh Happy Day
32. One Republic – I Lived
33. Nat King Cole – Smile
34. Mika – Grace Kelly
35. Bon Jovi – Someday I’ll be Saturday Night
36. Kat Edmonson – Lucky
37. Kermit the Frog – The Rainbow Connection
38. Miley Cyrus with Jimmy Fallon & the Roots – We Can’t Stop
39. Havana Brown – Warrior
40. Stevie Wonder – Don’t You Worry Bout A Thing
41. CraigLewis Band – Change is Gonna Come
42. Sara Bareilles – Gonna Get Over You
43. Sarah Jarosz – Ring them Bells (Dylan cover)
44. The Staple Singers – I’ll Take You There
45. The Muppets – Mahna Mahna
46. Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
47. KT Tunstall – Suddenly I See
48. Allen Stone – Celebrate Tonight
49. Postmodern Jukebox – My Heart Will Go On
50. Chris Colfer – Blackbird
51. Green Day – Give Me Novocaine
52. Kelly – I Believe I Can Fly
53. Idina Menzell – Defying Gravity
54. Les Miserables – Castle on a Cloud
55. Fuel – Bad Day
56. Jamie Cullum – Not While I’m Around
57. Gerry & the Pacemakers – Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Cryin’
58. fun. – Carry On
    1. Grammy Performance
59. Walk the Moon – Shut Up and Dance
60. The Lego Movie – Everything is Awesome
61. The Beach Boys – Don’t Worry Baby
62. Vampire Weekend – Oxford Comma
63. Monty Python – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
64. Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’
65. Morten Lauridsen – Dirait-on
66. Ed Sheeran – In My Life (Beatles cover)
67. The Clash – Rock the Casbah
68. Billy Joel – Scenes from an Italian Restaurant
69. Franco Bastelli – Il Tuo Mondo
70. Cody ChestnuTT – Til I Met Thee
71. Tom Jones – It’s Not Unusual
72. John Mulaney – The Best Meal I Ever Had
73. Paul McCartney – It’s Getting Better
74. Indigo Girls – Closer to Fine
75. Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong – They Can’t Take That Away from Me
76. Elton John – Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me
77. Grace Potter & the Nocturnals – Stars
78. Postmodern Jukebox – Livin’ on a Prayer
79. Rent Cast with Stevie Wonder – Seasons of Love
80. SMASH Cast – Stand
81. Blood, Sweat, & Tears – Hi-De-Ho
82. Caro Emerald – Absolutely Me
83. Carole King – Beautiful
84. Sara Bareilles – Brave
    1. Carole King & Sara Bareilles – Beautiful & Brave Grammy Performance
85. Daryl Hall with Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings – Do What You Want, Be What You Are
86. Van Halen – Right Now
87. James Taylor – Fire & Rain
88. Pocahontas – Just Around the Riverbend
89. Eva Cassidy – Songbird
90. Odessa – I Will Be There
91. Simon & Garfunkel – The Boxer
92. John Legend – So High
93. Eve with Gwen Stefani – Let Me Blow Ya Mind
94. Iggy Pop – Success
95. Rare Earth – I Just Want to Celebrate
96. Elizabeth & the Catapult – The Other Side of Zero
97. SMASH Cast – That’s Life
98. Janelle Monáe – Dance Apocalyptic
99. The Wiz Live Cast – Brand New Day
100. Led Zeppelin – Thank You
101. Stevie Wonder – As
102. Vangelis – Chariots of Fire Theme
103. Sarah Jarosz – Peace